This delightful illustration is by Katie Scott, based in London. Browsing through them, I suddenly remembered the first time I heard the vegetable song, in 1971.
Still makes me laugh, and still relieved I don’t have kids!
“Plant a radish.
Get a radish.
Never any doubt.
That’s why I love vegetables;
You know what you’re about!
Plant a turnip.
Get a turnip.
Maybe you’ll get two.
That’s why I love vegetables;
You know that they’ll come through!
They’re dependable!
They’re befriendable!
They’re the best pal a parent’s ever known!
While with children,
It’s bewilderin’.
You don’t know until the seed is nearly grown
Just what you’ve sown.
So
Plant a carrot,
Get a carrot,
Not a Brussels sprout.
That’s why I love vegetables.
You know what you’re about!
Life is merry,
If it’s very
Vegetarian!
A man who plants a garden
Is a very happy man!
Plant a beanstalk.
Get a beanstalk.
Just the same as Jack.
Then if you don’t like it,
You can always take it back!
But if your issue
Doesn’t kiss you,
Then I wish you luck.
For once you’ve planted children,
You’re absolutely stuck!
Every turnip green!
Every kidney bean!
Every plant grows according to the plot!
While with progeny,
It’s hodge-podgenee.
For as soon as you think you know what kind you’ve got,
It’s what they’re not!
So
Plant a cabbage.
Get a cabbage.
Not a sauerkraut!
That’s why I love vegetables.
You know what you’re about!
Life is merry
If it’s very
Vegetarian.
A man who plants a garden
Is a very happy man!
A vegitari-
Very merry
Vegetarian!”
From ‘The Fantasticks,’ the 1960 musical with music by Harvey Schmidt and lyrics by Tom Jones.
